28 wks

We met with the NICU team two Wednesday's ago.  It was an emotional appointment.  We met with Dr. Santiago the head of the NICU.  A L&D nurse, NICU nurse, chaplain, and case worker.  They were all so welcoming.  They walked us thru several scenarios that we could face when Jasper is born.  They just wanted to make sure we were all on the same page with our wishes.  They also stressed to us over and over that whatever we want during the whole journey they will make sure it happens…all we have to do is ask.  Dr. Santiago prepared us for the stages of death and told us that their staff would be there with us the entire time.  We have chosen comfort care for Jasper at this moment (we can always change our minds once he gets here and is evaluated).  Dr. Santiago said their advice to us would have also been comfort care.  With Jasper having fetal hydrops he will be severely swollen and it is invasive to even get an IV in him.  We don’t want to cause him any more pain or suffering than he will already be going thru, so at this time that is our plan (our plan….we will still have to see what God’s plan is for our little man).  They will try to accommodate a special place for our family to gather since this is not a traditional delivery.  Our case worker will also do a memory box for us.  She said that they will keep it up to a year if we decide not to take it home with us at that time.  They will also have a photographer with a service called Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep to come in and take some family photos.  So needless to say it was an emotional appointment but we could not ask for more caring Dr.’s, nurses, and hospital staff to have around us.  On Thursday we were offered the opportunity to have a 3D sono (thanks to some friends of ours…).  We decided to go ahead with it and take the kids along because this could be their only chance to see and spend some time with Jasper.  Jim and I both had no idea what Jasper would look like and we figured that the kids would not know the difference anyways.  With that being said…it was devastating.  He was so swollen you could barely make out his facial features.  On the other hand the kids were thrilled to see him because they had no idea what he was suppose to look like and just thought it was a lot of fun.  Jim and I were glad we had the sono because you would have had to scrape us off the delivery room floor if we were not prepared.  In my mind I knew he would be swollen but just not prepared for that.  I pretty much spent most of the next day and the weekend in bed….but today is a new day and we still have fight left in us and are marching on.  The sono did provide us some comic relief.  Jasper was very proud of his manhood and Jude thought is was the funniest thing he had ever seen.  Then Jude said as shocked as he could be “IS HE NAKED IN THERE???”  to which Jim and I explained that …Yes he is, you are not born with clothes on….did you think mommy ran to the Gap and dressed him in my tummy…lol    Chayse always frames the sono pics and puts them in her room.  When I start getting depressed I count my blessings and they are many….we still have so much to be thankful for…sometimes I just need reminding.  Thanks again for all the love, prayers, and support!!